You Cannot Be Friends!

friendship, relationship, loveI saw this Bollywood film eons ago – ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’. It is still one of my favourites. But there is this one dialogue in the film which, till date, I have never understood. The villain said ‘ek ladka ladki kabhi dost nahi ho skate’ (a boy and a girl can never be friends). I do not, DO NOT, understand this. Some of my best friends have been men. 

This post is dedicated to the men who do not understand the simple fact that opposite genders can have a platonic relationship. I pity them!

Scene 1

A mother is at her wits end because her daughter studies in an all girl’s school and hence she refuses to mix with the boys when it comes to get-togethers. So she is enrolling her child in all kinds of extra curricular activities so that she grows up in a ‘fulfilling’ environment.

Scene 2

The daughter is now a teenager and, because of all the mother’s efforts in earlier years, has started to mix freely with members of the opposite sex. The mother is now at her wits end in thinking how she will stop her from having such a ‘roving eye’. She doesn’t realize that it is just friendship. Why doesn’t she? Suddenly her perspective of giving her daughter a ‘fulfilling’ environment has changed?

Scene 3

The daughter, now in her twenties, has found the ‘special one’. She trusts her mother so much that she brings home the guy and introduces him to her. But the mother is queasy. She thinks what will happen if her daughter sleeps with this guy? She will be a non-virgin even before marriage? That’s prepostorous!

I say…is it? Or is it the mask that we Indian live in? A sham! A farce!

Scene 4

The boyfriend takes over now. He tells the girl that he doesn’t like her mixing around with other boys. Apparently that makes him jealous. She listens and let’s go off all her old friends. Just because they are boys.

But…hang on…he still has friends – girls. Ah! He’s the Indian male. That’s allowed, right?

Scene 5

This is the icing on the cake in the girl’s life. The husband. The one who feels that he is God reincarnate. Or may, the society wants the girl to treat him so. She does. What does he do in return? He lays down more rules. He asks her to devote all her time to ‘his’ family now. He asks her to leave her job when the child comes along. He asks her to pay attention to home chores and lesser to going out with friends. She does all of it and more. After all he is the husband. She gives up everything that was once her life, her persona and envelops his family and friends as her own. Then, one day, he accuses her of becoming too friendly with his friends!

This time, she opens her mouth. The clock is ticking. It’s time for her to get her life back. She’s lived in the shadows for way too long. 

PS: Here’s me at one of my sarcastic best….

Long live men and their arrogance!

Long live the lack of belief in women!

Long live the myth that a boy and a girl can’t be just friends!

Long live hypocrisy!

Long live absurdity!


8 thoughts on “You Cannot Be Friends!

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