“I love you”
You meet a pretty girl / handsome man, you go out for a movie, you share a burger and that’s it. The precious word are ready to burst out of your lips as much as the tongue is ready.
It’s as simple as that!
These words have become so easy to say nowadays. So easy that it pains someone like me who still believes that the real love still exists somewhere out there.
And then I ask myself. Do I know what love is? What is this ‘real love’ that I am talking about? Is it just my thinking?
While I would also love to hear the phrase, if I had to choose, I would chose to see and feel it rather than hear it.
If you love me then show me that you do. And for God’s sake that doesn’t mean roses on Valentine’s Day. That’s probably the worst.
If you dare to love me then make me feel secure. So that I never have to think about you going away. I don’t have to think about shattering dreams and picking up the pieces. I have done that. I don’t have the energy to do it again.
If you feel love for me then don’t lie to me. Don’t make up stories. Don’t give me bullshit. I’m not daft. I can see through all the tales that you make up. I understand it all. I just choose to keep quiet. And that is when I know that it’s not love. It never was. I’m not ready for compromise anymore.
If you have fallen for me then know that I will not look pretty all the time. I will fall ill and cough. I will feel bloated during the PMS days. I will be cranky. I will crib. Can you stand by me then? Or would your eyes look out for ‘greener pastures’ during those days? Don’t say that you love me if they do. I’m fine facing the challenges alone.
You say you love me? Well, then carve out time from your busy schedule to be with me. I don’t want to stick to you like a leech but I do need you too. I don’t want to be the one making the plans all the time. I want you to take charge. Show me that my presence is important. You don’t need to take me to expensive places to make me happy. You just need to be with me. And if you prefer sleeping to that – in that case, I know the depth of your feelings too.
If you have loved me then know that I will love you even if you fumble in bed. So don’t try and prove anything to me. Neither of us are perfect. But together we are. So please give in and create a room of two sweaty bodies, crumples sheets and heavy breathing.
If it’s about love then you will be the one who will make me smile even when all that I want to do is cry. It’s not because I’m pretending to be happy with you. It’s because that’s all that I can do when you are around. Just sit next to me with your arms around me and I shall be sorted. But if you don’t have the patience to do that or feel irritable to see me depressed, than I would rather you stayed away.
Am I expecting too much? Maybe I am. In fact, there’s plenty more. And that’s the way it should be. ‘Love’, after all, has never been an easy emotion to handle. It’s too deep for the shallow.
PS: All this said, I’m a woman and so I still like handwritten notes, stolen smiles, warm hugs and coffee together on a winter afternoon.