“I love you”.
Reading umpteen number of Mills & Boon novels since my teen years led me to believe that this was the maximum a person could say. Seems this is not true. There’s a level above this. A sense of extreme affection coupled with a burning passion. A feeling that only a chosen few experience.
Let me describe it. Although that’s the greatest problem. Describing this ‘above love’ situation is pretty much impossible till you have felt it. But I shall try because else it will keep eating my brains and saying, “Aditi, write about it. You have to. You know you want to.”
It’s a sense of devotion. Not the one that comes with folded hands and head bent. That’s fear. Or a you-better-be-religious-and-follow-customs rule. This is devotion that I speak of. A feeling that says, “I know there are many more out there who are probably better looking / more intelligent / funnier / richer than you; but I’m not interested. My eyes stop at you. I can’t see beyond you. You are my perfection.”
The sun never fails to rise. The waves never stop to crash on the sands. The lion is always the king of the jungle. The parrot will always be green. This kind of love beyond love is like this. Always there. Undeterred. Never changing. Never failing. A forever concept. It is infinity.
It is uninhibited sexuality. You don’t need to pretend. You like something you can say. You don’t, then too, you can speak. And when you are silent, the other automatically understands. You share. You explore. You enter a world of adventure and discovery – together. You concentrate more on the other’s pleasure rather than your own. Your pleasure comes when you see ecstacy in the other.
It’s faith that he / she will never let you down. Won’t take advantage of you. Won’t fail you. Won’t try and possess you. You can be alone in a room with him and he won’t touch you. You can be fat and feel ugly after childbirth but he will still just be looking at you. She could be going out with friends in a mini cocktail dress but she shall not allow any other man near her. She could have a best friend who is a guy, but it never goes beyond friendship because you are her real man. This is a trust that consumes you. Yes, maybe you trust the person blindly. But then you are the ‘walking stick’ for him / her. How can that fail?
It is a belief. That he / she will be around to shield you from all adversities. Pretty much similar to what the soldiers are doing at the nation’s border. Self suffering through rough terrains, not thinking once about themselves, not letting paranoia / grief / anxiety about their own families get in the way of protecting the nation. That comes first. This love feels like that. One believes that the other will protect them from everything. And he does. Not stopping to think or question. It comes naturally to him.
It’s where the soul search ends. I don’t know how many of you believe in past and afterlife. I do. I also believe that two souls, which at one time were one, search each other out in each life. Not necessarily as lovers though. Because souls don’t have the ability to chose who they are born as. So they can meet as parent-child, two friends, or even as a teacher-student pair. However, they keep searching and getting reborn into the many lives after this till the point when they are able to join in union as soul mates. Lovers forever. That’s when the cycle is complete.
I don’t believe in keeping anyone – humans or statues of Gods and Goddesses – on a pedestal. But this kind of love? I’m willing to place it on a pedestal with aromatic candles all around and open a bottle of Dom Perignon. No wait! Hadn’t Charles and Diana chosen this for their marriage? Na! I would rather toast with a cup of home brewed steaming cup of coffee.