The Big J

feelings, emotions, human emotions, jealousy

Yup, I know. We have all heard of the big ‘O’. But this is the big ‘J’. And it’s a bigger one! God help you if it gets to you. But if you are in love, sooner or later it will.

When you become a couple you feel like being together all the while. You start thinking that only the two of you should be spending time with each other while the rest of the world can do whatever else that they want to. But this doesn’t happen. It can’t happen. There is a world beyond the coochie-coo world.

There’s family to take care of. Or at least be around at home. Just because you have been bitten by the love bug you can’t be flying around in a different world that’s away from parents, grandparents, relatives and home all the while. But when you do park yourself at home the ‘better half’ starts to feel jealous as to why you are spending time with them. Maybe he / she doesn’t say it, but the heart does feel flutters of this weird feeling.

There’s work, office and a career (or studies as the case may be because love is starting from a very early age nowadays) to manage. But the ‘soul mate’ gets jealous because you are busy attending a client call instead of sending him / her love messages. It is not that he / she thinks that you are busy flirting with colleagues, bosses and vendors but he / she does feel that what time belongs to him / her is being taken up by someone else. And sharing is not easy when one has fallen in love.

You have your friends. The other half has his / hers as well. It is ok when you are spending time with your lot. But when the other one does so, why do the fangs of the big-J come out? Can’t he / she have a good time as well? So what if it means a few drinks, some unhindered laughter and some dancing till late into the night? Being in love doesn’t mean that you have ownership over the person.

The mother. Yup, it is never really the father. It is always the mother who is thrown into the wrestling ring. Happens a little later in the relationship though. More specifically after marriage. When love still exists. The spouse feels that the mother is still more important than he / she is. Maybe she is. She’s the mother after all. Why does choosing between the woman who gave you birth and the person you will bring a new life into the world with have to happen? Where’s coexistence? Acceptance? Understanding?

There’s the child too. This comes even more later into the love’s journey. Horrid as it may sound, it is true. The wife might be tired after breastfeeding and staying up at night and doesn’t want any further ‘activities’ – the husband feels jilted. The husband might be playing with the kid after coming back from work and not wanting to do any chit-chat – the wife feels stood up. Do these even make any sense? The big-J at work with respect to the very life that the two partners brought into the world?

Hobbies are not spared either. This is worth chuckling about. Sigh! When one wants to devote some time to his / her hobby then why does the other one go green? An individual, especially in today’s world, after working / studying for the whole week, might just want to do something that de-stresses him / her. Why can’t the partner understand that? Why must he / she start to believe that the ‘hobby is winning over him / her’? Is this even a competition that one should indulge in?

Some questions are rhetorical. We already know the answers. We already know what’s right and what’s stupid. But sometimes we can’t help it.

Did I hear someone out there ask if it’s happened to me too? Well, let’s just say, “I am human and I live amidst humans!” That should be answer enough.

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2 thoughts on “The Big J

  1. Me Otherwise says:

    It happens to all …Relationships are complex thingies… And answers to its nature is seldom completely got.. But yes to maintain some sanity and despite the ” J ” factor.. We all need to have a self space in a relationship .

    Like

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