For as long as we live, memories are something that we shall keep making. They are unavoidable. Some will make us smile and some will make us sad. It is a part of the game called life.
As we trudge along with life there will be incidents that cause us emotional trauma. These make life seem that what lies ahead is very foggy. There are quotes and you shall also hear self-proclaimed experts telling you how you should let go of these memories that make you sad and wistful. Even people with the best intentions will say that one day all will be fine. That you will feel victorious in having being able to walk forward. That you will have the courage to say that this is no longer a part of your life. That you will start forgetting and stop feeling the pain. That there will come a day when you won’t think about it anymore.
I think that’s all just a bundle of lie. Try as you might, it is not only next to impossible, but it is downright impossible to develop amnesia towards incidents that you have gone through. The most that you can do is to shove it to some dark corner of your heart. Make new memories that make you so glad and joyous that the old and unhappy ones are simply unable to raise their ugly heads from the inner recesses of the soul. Happiness, is very strong. And very difficult to come by as well. But if you can find it, in whatever little way, then accumulate them. Catch every chance that you get. For, that is the only way to prevent the bad memories from surfacing.
Let me tell you an anecdote. And please don’t start asking me who the person is. It doesn’t matter. It could be me, it could be you, it could be the neighbour. Understand the point. 🙂
There was once a woman. She always tried to show to the world that she was happy. In some ways she was. And for the things that made her sad, she tried not to dwell on those for too long. But slowly it started to creep into her skin. The same person who liked laughing started to become a bundle of irritability and anger. Then, one day, simply out of the blue, she lost one of her parent. Everything around her shattered into a million pieces. Even then she carried on with all her duties. Even then she held her own. Even then she showed to her family that she was strong. Even then she tried to smile. But a part of her was dead. She was scared. She was anxious. Often she became breathless when she thought of life and death. Even the happy memories of the places that she had visited with the parent started to haunt her. She started avoiding them. She desperately seeked one straw, one twig that she could clutch onto to stay afloat. She found none. But just when things were spiralling out of control she found her friend. There was no looking back after that. He showed her a world where happiness still existed. She started to see smiles around her again. She managed to make others happy too.
Then, one day, she told him, “I’m ready to go into that favourite ice cream parlour with you.”
He stared at her and replied, “But you said that you would never do that because the memories associated with that place makes you sad.”
She held his hand and answered, “But now I have you. I’m ready to let go off the sad memories.”
Maybe in the distant future she would be able to pick and choose the memories that she wanted to keep in the forefront and the ones that she wanted to lock up in the attic; but the chances of one bleeding into the other would always be there. Because when a person allows himself to think, then, more often than not, the whole is reminded of – the entire story with a beginning and an end. These sad memories would never really leave the girl’s mind and thoughts completely. It would always be a part of her. There would be days when, maybe, she would think about them very deeply and intensely as well. They would, on some days, make her eyes swell up too. But now, she had the courage to face them. She had someone who was building her life back once again. She had given him that chance. She had given herself that chance too.
If she had wanted she would have kept herself closed. If she had wanted she would have never given the smiles a chance. But she did. He made her want to trust him. She did. She trusted their friendship. He was no God. He was no God re-incarnate either. He was just a normal human being. He had no supernatural powers. But he had love to give. And, she on the other hand, had lost quite a bit but her faith in trust, belief, friendship and love.
When we find a friend or someone to genuinely love us, we do stop getting depressingly nostalgic about sad memories. We stop obsessing that everything around us is chaotic and meaningless.
When the forests are deep, the sunlight can’t easily penetrate through it. But it’s still always there. All it needs is a little breeze for the leaves to sway and move out of the path so that it can enter. So, too, in life. Sorrows are bound to be. There might be times when they will envelope us. What we need to do is to find the right warm breeze. And light is bound to come back to us.
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