“I want my girlfriend to be smart and sexy. But I want to marry someone who will take care of the kitchen and stay at home to look after the child.”
A commonplace dialogue by most men. Why is it that a woman’s smartness threatens them when it comes to a long-term commitment? What is it that makes them insecure?
In fact, a study performed by the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University, and the University of Texas, revealed the same – men can’t deal with a woman who is smarter than them. A woman maybe sensitive and sweet, but her intelligence will threaten the man with even the biggest c**k!
I think the main reason behind this is the male ego. The moment they realise that the woman is going to outperform them in terms of intelligence, wit and smartness, their brains automatically decrease their level of attractiveness. Human nature is such that we get hostile, defensive or competitive towards people who threaten us.
They also tend to feel that the smarter the woman is, the more they will be neglected when they enter into a relationship with her. After all intelligence breeds ambition, which, in turn, breeds neglect.
A smart woman will always voice her opinion. If she is upset with the man about something, she will say so. It is because she is defending what is important to her and not because she is being childish. Men can’t deal with such directness.
Men want women, in the long run, who will be dependent on them. That gives them a sense of being superior. A smart woman won’t do that. She is independent and does not need a crutch for herself. Difficult situations don’t scare her either. Rather, she will be resourceful enough to get you out of the toughest prison in the world if need be! That doesn’t do much to boost the male pride, does it?
A smart woman does not suffer from separation anxiety. She revels in the feeling of mutual trust and expects that from her partner as well. Men, however, most often suffer from a high degree of possessiveness. It is thus no wonder that a smart women stays single for so long!
Then, of course, there is this wonderful society that we live in where it has been ingrained in our brains, though generations that power ultimately rests in the hand of the man. So, quite naturally, when he sees that it can be taken away from him, he dumps the girl and out goes love from the window. And, unfortunately, even the educated men, more often than not, don’t challenge the paradigms, they just absorb them.
Yes, when George Clooney married human rights lawyer Amal Clooney, he said, “It’s good to surround yourself with anyone who is smarter than you, and for me the bar’s pretty low, anyway. Amal is way up there.” But everyone is not Clooney!
The boy grows up being mollycoddled by the mother. So, he never really grows up. Some part of his brain always looks for the mother figure even during adulthood. So, when it comes to finding himself a wife, he usually always prefers the woman who will prioritise her life based on his and one who will never let her job come before making dinner and pleasing him first.
We, women, in a way, are also to blame. Our parents give us the best education and we start off with a flying career. But then we fall in love and everything goes topsy-turvy. We give up everything to make this man’s house a home. And in the process we are often willing to even lose the basic identity that we have grown up on. There are so many women out there who are, everyday, dipping far below their standards just to find men who appreciate them. Isn’t it time that this stopped?
But, here’s the fun part. Not ALL men are like this. There are still a few, albeit very few in number, who would willingly spend their lives with a woman who is smarter than them. All you need to do is to begin your hunt with a microscope!
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