Why is it that when the butterflies start fluttering in the stomach and the heart starts to thud, the man in consideration automatically turns to Mr. Right? Love makes us stop questioning. It makes us completely stop our thinking prowess. It is no wonder that often these relationships fall flat on the face in no time. We, really should try and rationalise the emotions a little because there’s no use trying to work it out if the guy is Mr. Wrong!
Here’s how you can know that he’s not for you. He’s Mr. Wrong and not the knight in shining armour who you have been thinking him to be.
1. You Hesitate To Open Up To Him
If you are unable to speak your mind to him then there’s no future for the two of you. In a relationship that’s true, both the partners should be able to openly talk, share views and opinions, express thoughts, have the right to say that something is amiss. And when one is talking the other should be willing to listen, not negate all views, respect opinions, understand the reason behind what’s being said and even consider ideas. If your guy doesn’t do that, or if he makes fun of what you say, or openly criticises your thoughts then this is Mr. Wrong.
2. You Feel Unsafe
I’m not even talking about any form of mental or physical abuse. If that’s happened then leave immediately. Don’t be stupid like some who I know who have been tolerating it for years. What I’m talking about here is that you don’t feel safe and comfortable even if he’s around. If he was Mr. Right, you would walk over a tight rope bridge that’s made over a gushing river, unquestioning, because you would be sure that he would be saving you before he saves himself. But when it’s Mr. Wrong, you would be queasy even in the bedroom with him because you don’t trust what he could do to you to pleasure himself. It’s a little to do with the gut instinct. But women are born with it.
3. He Over Reacts With You
We are humans and we do get illogical at times. If he also over reacts when you do, for a particular situation, then this relationship will end soon. Had it been Mr. Right, he would have been comforting you and would have made efforts to calm you down first. That done, he would have told you that your reaction was completely illogical and baseless. There’s a way to deal when a crisis reaction happens. Mr. Wrong will always manage to, effortlessly, blow it out of proportion.
4. What You Say Is Forgotten
Maybe he will get you diamond earrings for birthday, but maybe you don’t want that. Maybe you want to go out for dinner instead and you told him so. Have you told your man that you like carnations and he still gives you roses instead? Do you want to share your writing with him and he doesn’t even read them and discuss it with you? Do you want to go catch a movie and he never has time? Do you need tha bathroom light repaired and it’s not getting done? Do you need to go visit the doctor for your annual dental check up and you want him to come because you are scared but he doesn’t have the time? When what you want doesn’t count or is not remembered then it’s time to give up on the guy.
5. You Are Not His ‘End-of-Day’ Comfort
At the end of a long day are you the one who he reaches out to, to relax and de stress? If not then you are only his option. Time to move away from Mr. Wrong. Had he been right for you, you would always be first on his mind when he returned home after work. He would want to talk to you, hug / cuddle you and if you don’t live together then he would call you and speak to you before he did anything else. It’s not because it’s what he’s being compelled to do, but it’s something that calms him down and rejuvenates him.
6. You Don’t Feel It
Are you both experimenting with new ideas in bed simply because you don’t any connection when the two of you are together in the act? If you are nodding your head, then you should know that no matter how nice the guy maybe otherwise, he’s not the one for you. Mr. Wrong will make you feel dead wood even when he’s doing the most erotic things with you and Mr. Right will scorch you with a simple cupping of your face with his warm hands.
7. Doesn’t Believe In The Middle Path
Yes, some occasions are unavoidable. And much as you would love to be with him all the time, he has other commitments that he has to honour. But he should also realize that giving you time is important. So, if you find that his drinking binges and friends are always his priority and you never are, you might as well call it quits and let him be with what he wants to be with.
8. Your Family Doesn’t Know Yet
If you are in love then what’s keeping you from introducing him to your family? Why don’t you want them to know about him? If you were proud of him you would be wasting no time to tell those who are close to you. But if you haven’t and you want things to be hush-hush then maybe it’s a sign that you are with Mr. Wrong.
9. You Can’t Rely On Him
If you are always feeling that your partner will forget what you have asked him to do, then it’s time you checked your feelings. If he’s flaky and always forgetting dates, important things to be done, dates that you have planned for a long time then he’s not the one for you. Maybe he’s just pretending that he’s forgetful! Time for you to face some hard truths.
10. You Are Making Excuses For Him
Yes he is your partner and it is natural for you to want to defend him. But if you find that you are making excuses for him too often then he’s definitely not the one for you. Why would you, once too often, have to tell your parents “he flew into a rage because he had a hard day at work” or your friends “he couldn’t come because he was at work”? If he really did care for you, trust me, such occasions would never arise.
When you are in a relationship, it might be difficult for you to cut the strings. Yes, a break up is painful. But, remember that unless you let go of the person who is Mr. Wrong for you, how will Mr. Right ever walk in?
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