I am not making a close friend again for every time I do, they go away, or I go away – and each going away is very painful. They take away a bit of my soul or I leave behind a bit of mine with them.
Right since college days, then MBA, work, and now mums from my child’s school – mixing around and being friendly has never been an issue for me, but trusting someone and considering her to be a friend whom I can rely on sure does take a lot of time.
This bond has always developed with time but the feeling that she can be my “bestie” has come in an instant. My childhood bosom buddy happened because she and I used to go for evening walks together only to gorge on ice creams and both landed up liking the orange lolly the most. College bestie happened when we fell down a flight of stairs together and laughed after that! Then came MBA where the bond developed because we were roomies and at work my junior became my closest pal for more reasons than one.
However, time and distance worked on all. We remained in touch, and even now are, but it is not the same. Maybe it never will be like that again. Only the memories remain now of what it was then causing an ache that can’t be put into words. The final blow has come only very recently though.
When my child began going to school I made friends with some mums. They have been very supportive and nice to me. We have shared many happy times together. We have laughed and cried. We have torn our hair over the frustration of never-ending exams. The last few years have definitely given me people who I will cherish forever. But a friend that connects with your soul can be only one and this lady tops my entire list of friends to date.
We have been there during each other’s lows and laughed our heads off during the highs. We have advised each other and called a spade a spade. Added to it is the fact that our kiddos are so close to each other. And now they are leaving. I do wish her well in her new journey but I am going to miss her so much. Maybe a time will come when I will visit her but things won’t be the same. She is going to be on a new path now. I am sure I will be too, but during this new journey, I close my heart to making any more besties again. These tears that fall today, won’t fall for another again.
Life is easier being friendly and not having a best friend.
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